The Modern Love Box sent us this rad box filled with goodies to help us enhance and improve our relationship. Well, as I was meaning to type this post up awhile ago… I never got to it. See it just so happens Wesley, my boyfriend, and I got into an argument.
The argument was progressing and I finally just stopped to evaluate the situation. I noticed that the problems we were facing stemmed from my resentment. Resentment of the fact that I was not in the place I wanted to be in. There were these big hopes and dreams I had for not only myself, but for my family. I took out all the expectations I had for him, out on him. I took out all the anger and disappointment I had in myself, out on him.
Ladies, do not be that girlfriend. Do not be the nagger.
Yep, I became the girl that nags. Constantly complaining and claiming that something wasn’t right. Yelling for my boyfriend to do this and do that. It got to a point where I was placing all the blame on him. I let my anger fill up and blind me from the reality.
Finally, I decided it was time to open up the modern love box again. Something had to give. Things needed to change.
What I learned:
- You can only ask someone to do something so many times. You can never make someone change, but you can encourage by leading by example, praying, and mentioning it (not nagging).
- Things are not as bad as they seem. Everything is honestly going great. I am working hard to accomplish my goals. Wesley moved from what he’s known his whole life to a place where he doesn’t know anyone or anything, to be with our daughter and I. My family is together, alive, and healthy. For that I should be thankful.
- Pray more, worry less. Instead of placing every single thing on Wesley, I should pray about it. Wesley is not my savior, he is just my boyfriend. He is here as my lover and best friend. God is here to take my pains and worries away while guiding and comforting me through life. I will do everything I can and leave the rest up to God. God is my number one, not Wesley.
- Nagging does not fix anything.
How I learned:
- Evaluation. I have to stay in tune with everything that goes on, in and around our relationship. It can be easy to let small things come in and tear us apart. Evaluate: Is this really a big deal or am I over exaggerating? Is complaining about this going to fix anything? Did I let him know how it made me feel? Is there something I can do, on my behalf, to fix it?
- Effective communication. The Modern Love Box focuses a lot on this. Communication really is key in a relationship, especially when it is effective.
- Taking time to love instead of hate. Instead of me starting an argument, I decided to just love. Some times we hide our emotions. Maybe he had a bad day at work so as his significant other I should be the one to turn his day around, not make it worse. Also, going back to the old saying “treat others how you want to be treated” and I do not want to be nagged all the time, that’s for sure.
- Appreciating what is instead of resenting what is not.
One thing that has helped Wesley and I is to understand each others love languages. We took the test on this site. I love that The Modern Love Box touches on the languages by providing different things, such as activities, notebooks, and these compliment cards (pictured above). Wesley likes to hear compliments so these are great for me to give him. My love language is spending time together so we can do one of the activities that are provided in the box!
The Modern Love Box was born for this right here.
To help relationships. The boxes are meant to build excitement. To rid the arguments and bring the joy, spontaneity, and fun. Relationships are meant to be filled with happy times. When something comes along, you can open up your box and you are quickly reminded to communicate with your partner, spend time with them, and have a good time. I highly recommend investing in this box. It is a monthly subscription so you are getting something new each month.
Stick up for your relationship. Don’t let it get down to dust.