To The Unwed Mother

Oh how the world loves to point fingers while, in hiding, committing their own sins. My boyfriend and I had been dating long distance so the moment we finally got to be together, face to face, again we engulfed one another. And before you know it, I was pregnant. It was September 8th, my 21 st birthday, and my mom calls me. "Kayla, please do not do what I did and get pregnant at 21." Well, three days later I called her back and said "whoops." I was beyond thrilled. The only sadness that occurred from receiving the news was dreading having to tell my family. I wasn't sure what they would do, but I knew they would be very disappointed. What they saw was a young, jobless, and unwed girl. They let my current circumstances affect the joy of me bringing in new life. Letting their beliefs get in the way of a beautiful thing. Forgetting that regardless of the plans they had for me, I'm still my own person. They seemed to not realize that no sin is greater than the other. We all have our own convictions, at our own time. My happiness was overwhelming. I was having a baby. That is huge and such a blessing. I was never scared by the fact that I didn't have a job because guess what? Everything happens for a reason and everything  always works out, duh. I wish I could say I wasn't embarrassed by not having a ring on my finger. At one point, I even started putting a ring on my wedding finger out of shame of what others may think. They see a big ole pregnant belly (my fave) but no ring. I assumed that they assumed I was a hoe. Throughout my pregnancy I received talk after talk about how I should have waited. Of course my family members moved past their disappointment, especially once I gave birth. I mean one look at my baby girls sweet face and the world stops. But I think it's important I still talk about this. I held my ground, had faith, and loved myself (when I remembered to). What about you?    To The Unwed Mother,  Who cares what others think. We are all ...

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To The Curly Haired Girl

Growing up I had to have my hair straight at all times. I begged my mom for a relaxer (permanent straighten) and she always said no. She barely even let me dye my hair for fear of damaging it. At the time, I thought she was the worst. I wanted highlights and and super, duper straight, sleek hair. So every week or two I (well, my mom) would spend 2-3 hours washing, conditioning, blowdrying, and flat ironing my hair. If it rained, I about cried and I never really went swimming. I hated my curly hair.  No matter how much gel I put in it, it would still shrink up. Don't get me started on how long it took to dry it. Fast forward to my second semester of my Sophomore year in high school. At this point my mom pointed out that it was time I do my own hair. I was dedicated so again, every two to three weeks I did my own hair. One day I caught my mom watching YouTube videos. I brushed it off, but then it kept happening. She was constantly engulfed into her iPad watching girls on YouTube talk about their hair. Their natural, curly hair. Another day, months later, my mom came home with all her hair cut off. These videos had inspired her to "make the big chop." Now if you're reading this, I'm assuming you have curly hair and I'm also assuming you know what the big chop is. She cut her to get rid of all the relaxers and harsh chemicals. There was a method to my moms madness. All those times when I asked for a relaxer, she said no because she knew how harmful they were. When she cut her hair, she had a plan. She started the curly girl method. From being horrified to falling in love. I saw the whole transition. I was amazed how pretty her curls were and how fast her hair was growing. Eventually (definitely not over not, but eventually), she talked me into trying this method that consisted of using certain products, conditioning my hair a certain way, and drying my hair with this big weird looking thing (a diffuser). And again, I was surprised. After ...

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To The Person Who Quit College

To The Person Who Quit College, For whatever your reason is, you can still be successful in life without a degree. For me, I went to college right out of high school. It's not that I didn't want to go to college, but I wasn't ready to go right out of high school. My plan was to to travel and do missions trips first, but ya know I had to do what my parents wanted me to do. Therefor, I went out and started towards my degree. The first week I was like I LOVE COLLEGE. Excitement filled my soul as I signed up for all the clubs on campus, went to all the parties, and met all the people. The thing  about me is I love humans and I love to be involved. With that, I loved college solely because I saw it as a huge ongoing networking event. Don't get me wrong, I was hype in my business law class. Every time I went, I went with a new business idea... because that's kind of sorta .. like my passion. I wanted to cut straight to the chase and get down to bih'ness. Well, college isn't a cut to the chase kind of thing and I wasn't with that. After being sick of failing classes I didn't care for at all, I finally broke down to my parents and told them I was "taking a break." During my first break, I set out to live my passion. Not wait around for it to happen. I've been obsessed with business since my sophomore year of high school. Coming up with a business and planning it out, was what I did for fun. For that, my first venture was a clothing line. It kind of all happened naturally. Notice how I said my first break? The whole entrepreneur thing wasn't working out so I thought dang, maybe I do need school. This time around I told myself I would work hard and that I needed a degree for credibility. I needed this paper to make my parents proud. Well sure enough, the second time around ended up being the same as the first time around. It was a cycle. During my second and last break, I just let life flow and now here I am beyond happy and running two businesses! I have ...

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To The Kid Raised In A Military Family

Being in a military family can be super fun, but also super... eh. There's the ups and the downs, just like anything in life. I'm sure we each had a different experience, but my family just so happened to be Navy. (every branch is different in how often they move, how long they are gone for, etc) Growing up I moved every three years, give or take for some states but it was frequent. Not ever did I hate it. It was a thrill for me to up and move to a new place. I was thankful for the people I met in my current state and excited to see what the next place brought me. Change is exhilarating especially when it comes to travel. I took in the new styles, accents, surroundings, all of it. The Ups Seeing the world Gaining perspective Learning to step out of my comfort zone and meet people through always being the new kid The Downs Being away from a family member while they are away Never having a constant friendship that lasted past a move Now being 22 years old I am starting to realize that all the moving around has affected how I treat friendships. At first I wondered what was going wrong. Did I do something? What the heck is wrong with me to not have a freaking best friend... Or even a friend for that matter?! Isn't everyone supposed to have a bff? Am I not aware of the true definition for bf? I absolutely love meeting and connecting with people, but I'm terrified of getting my hopes up at this point. I'm nervous that how I see our friendship, isn't how they see it. I've lost so many best friends. I can't recall the longest true friendship I've had. Ones that I've thought I had, turned out not to be one at all. I would do for them things they wouldn't ever think of doing for me. The value wasn't there. To this day I do not have any best friends, just a whole lot of acquaintances. To The Kid Raised In A Military Family Stay self aware. After high school when you are on your own and have the opportunity to develop into your own ...

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I Ran Out Of Gas On The Side Of The Road

On my personal Facebook page I'm constantly sharing my successful news. "I just got a partnership with x brand" "OMG! I'm now offering lash extensions and I'm located in the prettiest salon in town." and so on, so forth.   What I don't want to do is mislead anyone into thinking that life is always groovy. Shit is tough. Entrepreneurship is something I was determined to go after since high school. I honestly thought it would be an easy, smooth ride to all the riches. A big fat LOL to that because that is not the case.   Last night I was broker than broke. With 15 cents to my name and no gas in my tank... on the side of the road. Thankfully my family came through. That was a struggle for me in itself as well. Who wants to be struggling financially? No one. Much less do I want to ask for help. In my mind I'm 22 and everything should be perfect. I should be giving my family money at this point.. not them still helping me out. "Kayla, we are family." The words that came out of everyone's mouth as I cried in shame. They reminded me that everyone struggles and that they will always have my back. Stories on stories were followed by this on the times they've faced financial stress themselves. As I made my way back home I felt as if there were a devil on one side of my shoulders and an angel on the other.  The devil was filling my head up of all my failures and telling me to give up. Push everyone away. God, myself, family, and everyone. I was torn between disregarding my worth and everything I've worked for to this point to playing worship music, thanking God for bringing me to this place as a learning lesson, and realizing that my time is coming.   I turned on my favorite worship songs. Praised God. Thanked Him. And went back into my regularly scheduled show of working hard and staying motivated. I was this close to turning around, again. To letting a situation get the best of me. But I decided no more and I also decided I gotta ...

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